My parents weren't arranged for their marriage.
When people find out I'm Indian, or I ask them what I could blog about, they ask about arranged marriages. They ask me if my parents had one and if I'm going to have one.
Honestly, my parents probably think they could arrange a marriage for me, but I'm not even slightly interested. Especially since they didn't have one. My dad met my mom through his brother who was good friends with my mom's sister. Sounds kind of confusing, I know. But when the time came when their parents asked them if they were ready for marriage, they both said they had someone in mind. So my parent's parents didn't arrange the marriage, and they did know each other before the wedding.
It is true that sometimes in India, the bride and groom don't meet until a week before the wedding. Sometimes they don't even meet until the wedding. This case was true with my cousin. She didn't care that she hadn't met the man she was going to be spending the rest of her life with because her family met him and approved. I was really surprised. I guess she's a little more traditional and didn't mind. I would not have been okay with that. She met him at their engagement party that was a week before their wedding. She posted pictures the day after and seemed pretty content with her future husband.
I don't think I would ever be able to do something like that. Maybe because I was raised in America where arranged marriages are not normal. I don't know, but I would like to have some sort of background on the person I'm supposed to marry.
In some parts of India when a marriage is arranged, they brides family offers a "dowry" to the grooms family. This is kind of a gift that is given before the wedding. It's not as popular as it used to be, but some people still follow this tradition.
Even though arranged marriages sound really absurd, they last longer than the "love" marriages of America.
One major difference is that in an arranged marriage is that you continue to learn about your spouse throughout the years. In a regular marriage, you usually get to know them really well for at least a few months before you decide the person is right for you.
The divorce rate in America is about 50%.There's not even a number for this statistic in India. But that's also because divorce is really looked down upon there. It is starting to increase but not nearly as much as America, now that times are really changing.
Since my parents didn't have an arranged marriage, I hope they don't expect me to have one, too!
I love this blog. It just shows how stereotypes are so strong in todays society! Oh, your muslim, why aren't you wearing the scarf? Your Indian, where's the dot on your head, are you marrying someone your parents choose? Like people listen to everything they hear and i find it sad. But it's true, I've seen many of my friends have an arranged marriage and live very happy with this man people call a stranger to her. Nobody should judge because there are couples who are married for years and end it like you said. I enjoyed the humor and honesty of this post as a whole. Think you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteI like this blog a lot because now I can relate to my next door neighbor who had an arranged marriage right after high school to some guy she didn't even know. I thought arranged marriages were mandatory until I read this post. It depends on how your parents were raised. Props to your cousin who went through the arranged marriage! I would have thought the divorce rate was higher in India, but it's not the case. Divorce rates are higher in America, go figure. I really like your blog because I learn something new from each post while being entertaining and humorous.
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